I tried to write romances when I was a student in high school. I tested my skills with presentations of narratives to my classmates. My writing was received well, but notions that I had meant to elaborate subtly got lost. Additionally, classmates who enjoyed my stories most were disinterested in my subtle notions. I was confused about what I wanted to express and who should be my audience.
I was determined to write romances, and tried another story that included subtle messages about morality and emotional hurts. My classmates thought that the story was improved upon the last ones. There were prettier places, better characters, and faster dialogs. The best critics discovered that they liked to avoid my subtle messages completely. Interests in the implications that I had made from scenes and plots got lost when I improved originality and literary techniques. I felt abandoned, and discouraged.
I put my writing skills for romances away, and tried to write stories about morality and emotional hurts that dramatized consequences. I developed a phase of stories that were written like non-fiction. I tried to romanticize non-fiction, and recognized that romances were thrillers without motives and violence. I had to concede finally that only thrillers delivered peripheral messages about places, characters, and events. Romances delivered dialogs, and imagery.
I chose to write thrillers over other genres during my sophomore year in high school. I started development of my style of thrillers, and left romances behind. Thrillers use guilt and fear to engage memories and egos. They demonstrate morality, and emotional hurts. Sexualities and passions stand out. Thrillers provide easier escape from immediate realities.
Thrillers proved to be versatile for expressions of my darkest thoughts, and romances remained in my mind as an unusual mystery. I realized much later that I had been shy to expose uncomfortable facets about morality and emotional hurts. I had tried to hide facts about events and personalities inside romantic happiness. Thrillers turned around later to recast romances into stories about relationships and achievements.